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Part I Before there was nothing to lose this love affair was unrequited and so my admiration for you my enthrallment with every part of this imagined life was completely anonymous completely free But now we’ve been discovered Now in my longing for you I have told the world and the gaze has shifted to from my own eyes, mostly What will you make? Will it be beautiful enough? Will it even appear? If it does, will it matter at all? But that’s the harsh light of a stage and I have come back to my senses every day realizing with long, tangled hair too real too grey I never wanted to be an actress not even a poet not even a preacher or a gardener or a ranger All I want is to love to soak in the presence of soft rain the brine of salty air until like water I flow where it does unafraid an offering for passers-by if they choose Part II If you have never felt what it is to dissolve do not wait close yourself away with no thought open yourself up to the buoyancy of morning sun and float When you feel the last molecules of your old life your bundled raft dismantling into pieces melting trickling down into the banqueted soil like the most natural tithe that harbors no deadline no measure of time only variegated space only the texture of now the sweet taste of Earth on your tongue you’ll do it again every day Not with dread but with hunger for the uncultivated harvest of eternity Wide open and ever-present Now Questions for meditation: What would it be like to dissolve into the present moment, without thought or fear or anxiety for what it will produce, what it won't? How much of your focus, day-to-day, moment-to-moment is on producing something worthy? How would what you produce change if you were to free yourself, to not yet know the ending? A prayer using words: God of Love, burn away our need to be a finished product, our desire to take charge of the course, to plan it out. Sacred Now, open our eyes to Eternity, to everything, every time, every one, all at once so that we dissolve completely into nothing else but love, which produces what it will, which transforms with its presence, with You. Amen.